Why You Feel Guilty for Setting Boundaries - And How to Stop

It’s OK to say no. Learn why boundary guilt shows up, and how RTT® Hypnotherapy helps you feel strong, clear, and guilt-free.

Do you feel a wave of guilt after telling someone “no”, even when it’s something you need? Maybe you’ve set a limit at work, with family, or in friendship, and then spent hours replaying it, thinking, “Was I too harsh?”

You’re not alone, and this kind of boundary guilt is not a sign of weakness. It often shows up because you’ve been conditioned to prioritise others, avoid conflict, or shrink your needs. It’s different from real guilt (when you’ve hurt someone); this is guilt that comes after doing the right thing for yourself.

Why Setting Boundaries Triggers Guilt

Childhood rules: You learned that keeping peace = being loved
Fear of rejection: Saying no felt risky to your belonging
People-pleasing habit: You’ve internalised the need to always prioritize others
Misguided empathy: You feel responsible for others’ feelings, even when it’s not your job

These deep-rooted beliefs make your boundary feel “wrong” inside, which creates guilt, even though your actions are healthy and necessary.

Common Signs You’re Carrying Boundary Guilt

You apologise after you say no
You rationalise and over-explain your reasons
You wonder if you “overreacted” or were “too much”
You avoid setting limits to escape emotional drama
You replay conversations, second-guessing your tone or fairness

Recognising these patterns is a powerful first step.

The Downside of Holding Onto Guilt

Erodes your self-respect – You second-guess yourself instead of standing firm
Burnout & resentment – Without boundaries, your needs get ignored
Anxiety spirals – Guilt about boundaries echoes, “What did I do wrong?”
Undermines your influence – People-pleasing feels good short-term but disempowers you long-term

How RTT® Hypnotherapy Can Help You Release Boundary Guilt

RTT® gets to the root beliefs you inherited, like “My value depends on pleasing others”, and transforms them. In a safe, relaxed state, your subconscious learns new truths:

Your needs matter
Saying no doesn’t mean you’re unkind
Healthy boundaries are essential for connection
You can create space for yourself without fear or guilt

In practice, RTT® helps you…

Identify the moment boundary guilt began
Reframe the false belief that limits = selfishness
Install self-trust, calm assertiveness, and openness to love with boundaries
Practice new boundaries with confidence and ease

By redefining what boundaries mean to you, RTT® supports freedom that feels gentle, sure, and lasting.

Real Stories of Boundary Breakthroughs

Many clients describe sessions that:

Removed guilt around “protecting time”
Helped them stop saying yes to toxic demands
Boosted their confidence in saying no with clarity and calm

Often, it’s the first time they experience saying no, and not feeling bad afterward.

✅ Take This as Permission

If you’re tired of carrying guilt around every limit you set, you deserve better than discomfort. It’s possible to enjoy both strong boundaries and emotional ease.

👉 Want to explore how RTT® can help you release boundary guilt and build authentic confidence?
Book a free consultation.

Book My Free Consultation

FAQs About Boundary Guilt & RTT®

Q: Is guilt after saying no normal?
Yes -it’s a result of old programming, not your values. Healthy boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first until they feel natural.

Q: How is boundary guilt different from real guilt?
Real guilt is tied to an action that goes against your values. Boundary guilt is feeling wrong for protecting your wellbeing.

Q: Will RTT® help me set firmer boundaries?
Absolutely. RTT® helps retrain your mind so boundaries feel safe, natural, and guilt-free. Many clients experience newfound clarity within a session.

What's next?

Please feel free to contact me if you have identified with the comments and suggestions above, why not create real change regarding your feelings of guilt, and learn to give yourself some space and happiness?

Just press the button above to arrange a free chat and to discuss if a session would be helpful with your situation.

Look after yourself, Joanna x

Related service:

Confidence Hypnotherapy