How I Finally Started Feeling Better About Anxiety - When Nothing Seemed to Help

I didn’t really talk about it. To anyone. I wouldn’t even have called it anxiety back then, just thought I was a bit on edge all the time. Tense. Moody. Overthinking things I’d said, things I hadn’t said. Waking up at 3am with a tight chest and a brain that wouldn’t shut off.

I looked fine on the outside, holding it together. Working. Social enough. Doing the usual things. But under the surface, I always felt like I was about to snap, or sink, or both.

At one point I thought maybe this was just how life is. Stressful. Overwhelming. Something you just push through.

Nothing really worked

I did the usual, cut down on caffeine, went for more walks, downloaded a couple of mindfulness apps. And sure, they helped a bit. But nothing really shifted. Not deep down.

I still felt stuck in my own head. Still irritable with people I cared about. Still wondering what the hell was wrong with me.

Part of me thought maybe I was just wired this way, not built for this modern life, maybe. A bit broken.

The turning point (that didn’t feel like one at first)

What helped was surprisingly simple, I stopped trying to “manage” the anxiety, and started actually paying attention to it.

Instead of pushing it away or pretending I was fine, I got curious. What was it trying to tell me? What was underneath it?

And weirdly, it wasn’t as scary as I thought. It wasn’t about being weak, or soft. It was just about finally listening to myself.

What I Learned About How to Feel Better About Anxiety

Anxiety isn’t a flaw, it’s often a signal
Most of us never learned how to process emotion, just how to bottle it up
Ignoring how you feel doesn’t make it go away, it just leaks out elsewhere (sleepless nights, snappiness, shutting down)
And feeling better doesn’t mean becoming some kind of Zen monk, it just means you don’t feel trapped anymore

I started seeing patterns. Things that made sense. I could actually breathe again.

These days

I’m not going to say I’ve “conquered” anxiety, I’m not sure anyone really does. But I’ve definitely made peace with it.

It’s not running the show anymore. I feel more grounded. Calmer. I know how to handle it when it comes up, without spiralling.

And honestly? I feel more me than I have in years.

If you’re reading this and feeling stuck

Just know, you’re not weird, or weak, or alone.

If anxiety’s been clinging to you like fog you can’t shake, it doesn’t have to be that way forever. You really can feel better, not by fighting it harder, but by finally understanding it.

That’s all I wanted to say, really.

This was his story, one person’s experience, but maybe something in it spoke to you too?

FAQ

1️⃣Can you actually feel better when you’ve had anxiety for years?

Yes. Anxiety often lingers when the underlying causes haven’t been fully understood or addressed. Many people feel relief not by forcing anxiety away, but by learning why it developed in the first place and responding to it differently. Even long-standing anxiety can ease when your nervous system feels safer and more supported.

2️⃣ What if nothing has worked for my anxiety so far?

This is very common and doesn’t mean you’re broken or beyond help. Many approaches focus on managing symptoms rather than exploring what’s driving the anxiety underneath. For some people, change begins when they stop fighting anxiety and start listening to what it’s trying to communicate.

3️⃣ Is it normal to have anxiety without a clear reason?

Yes. Many people experience anxiety even when life looks “fine” on the outside. Anxiety can build up from prolonged stress, unprocessed emotions, or long-term pressure rather than one obvious event. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you, it means your nervous system has been on high alert for too long.

4️⃣ Can anxiety improve even if I’ve felt this way for years?

Yes. Anxiety doesn’t have to be permanent. Many people feel stuck because they’ve only tried managing symptoms rather than understanding what’s driving them. When the underlying patterns are addressed, anxiety can soften and become far more manageable, even after years of feeling this way.

Anxiety is a common human experience, and trusted mental health organisations recognise it as a natural response to stress and overwhelm. The NHS and the mental health charity Mind both offer clear, evidence-based guidance on understanding anxiety and practical ways to support your wellbeing.

What’s next?

If you’ve been quietly carrying your anxiety and trying to make sense of it, I hope this gave you something to sit with.

You’re always welcome to stick around, whether that’s reading another blog post, following along on Facebook, or simply knowing you’re not the only one.

Take care,
Joanna x

About the Author
Joanna, RTT® Hypnotherapy Practitioner, helps people overcome anxiety, boost confidence, and break free from limiting patterns. Trained personally by Marisa Peer, she delivers RTT® sessions online worldwide.

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